Happy Holidays, everyone!! Seems like just yesterday we were getting ready for 2011, and here 2012 is right on the doorstep! I'm not sure if just getting older or running after these kids is what makes the time go by so quickly, but whatever it is, it's unrelenting.
Having experienced a couple of Christmases recently that felt like a weekend rather than a season, I personally started celebrating right after Halloween this year! Although I didn't subject my family to decorations prior to Thanksgiving, my coworkers had to suffer through lights, music, and even the Christmas tree several weeks earlier than they are used to!
I just finished printing off envelopes for our Christmas cards. What fun that was. Actually, printing them out wasn't so bad, it was organizing my address book that was the real fun!! I hadn't realized how dependent I'd become on Facebook and email for communication. Many addresses were woefully out of date, and tracking down correct addresses was accomplished by sending emails, checking Whitepages.com, and just hoping for the best on the last address I had. Well, if you're reading this, then I do feel some measure of success!
I'm finally sitting down to write out a few reflections on this last year. Amy has done a fantastic job hitting the highlights, so I won't repeat those things even though they are the highlights of my year as well. However, I do feel such a deep sense of gratitude for some amazing things that have happened that I want recognize how blessed my family and I have been. Instead of recounting a great many facts, I'll just talk about two things (among many) that have been particularly special to me this past year.
First, as Amy mentioned, I changed jobs this at the end of 2010/beginning of 2011. For several weeks in December and January I really didn't have a clear sense of where God was leading in the job change situation, just that He was. Interestingly, a job that seemed to have the most promise early on turned out not to be the one that actually came through, but another one came out of left field at the last minute, one that I had not been pursuing and for which I would not have been available if the timing hadn't been perfect. As a result, I have for almost 11 months been working in one of the most rewarding, enjoyable jobs I've had for years, with a group of people I look forward to seeing every day. I couldn't be happier! Sometimes you know that things worked out just the way they were supposed to, and my job is one of those things. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for how he worked all that out!
Second, I had an opportunity to visit Walburg, Texas - the community where I grew up - twice this past year. The first time was in January during the time I was off work. I visited a very dear friend of mine at her work place in Cedar Park, then drove back to spend some time in the Lutheran church my family had attended before I was born. It was in that church that I first had a sense of calling on my life from God, and it was good to reconnect both with that sense of God presence throughout my life as well as the history of my family from several generations past.
From there I drove out to the old homestead, just to reminisce about my childhood on the farm. What I found was quite the opposite. The farm had changed so much, my father's perfectionism in keeping up the property so abandoned, that I found myself both shocked and saddened, almost like experiencing the death of a loved one. But it was a good type of grieving, one that was long overdue.
When I left there, I stopped by the graves of my grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparents, and I pondered on how much I have received in this life as a result of the grueling, unappreciated, unrecognized sacrifices these people had made during their lifetimes. It was sobering, humbling, and deeply meaningful.
I ended my visit to Walburg by spending time with my Aunt Ethel, Uncle Ray, and my cousin Danny, all of whom I hadn't seen in a long time. As an only child, my family and I have enjoyed unrivaled attention from my amazing, loving parents, which has been so important to me and for which I can't say enough. But I have missed connection to brothers and sisters, blood-relatives, which is hard to put into words. Sitting in the old Mickan Motor Company, which was handed down by my grandfather to Uncle Ray, who then passed it onto Danny we talked about everything under the sun, stopping occasionally when a customer needed assistance, but barely drawing breath in between. Spending time with these people, my kin, with whom I share a rich history, was pretty much icing on the cake for me. I came home that day with a real sense of being rooted in gratitude for all I have, so much of which is outright undeserved and unearned, yet given to me all the same, and I determined to be faithful to the best of my ability with those gifts.
I had a second opportunity to visit Walburg for a weekend this past September, this time with Amy, Esther, Jedaiah, and Ariana, at my cousin Cindy's daughter's wedding. We stayed in Austin with my Aunt Kathy and cousin Sarah, enjoying the time to catch up and introduce Ariana to central Texas. The wedding was storybook, in the church where I grew up, the bride in the wedding dress that was hand-made for her grandmother, my aunt Ethel, by her great grandmother Hanna (Esther's middle name comes from this grandmother), surrounded by people I hadn't seen since I was a child. The service was intimate yet jovial, with laughter at family jokes mixed with reverence for the marriage being witnessed. In my mind's eye, the scene is shot in soft focus, with every moment a celebration of family and tradition.
I wondered when this Hallmark special was going to cut to a commercial break, but it turned out the wedding was just the beginning! At the reception, I was able to spend time with one person after another who had known me since before I was born, who had watched me grow up, and to whom I now had the privilege of introducing my wife and children. And to top off the evening, I got to dance the wedding march with my wife for the first time, got to two-step with my cousin Sarah (who graciously ignored my very rusty dance moves), and for the first time ever, I was given the gift of a waltz with my baby girl. I can count on one hand the gifts I have received in my life that hold as dear a place in my heart as that one dance. Even now I find myself tearing up, knowing that the next time I dance with her could be when I give her away. Pass the Kleenex!
As if all this wasn't enough, the present of that weekend was wrapped with a bow - breakfast with Kathy and Sarah before leaving Austin. We ate at a crowded restaurant that can only be described as a modern-day respite for born-again hippies! The food was great but wasn't what sticks out in my mind. What I remember was the relaxed, easy conversation about everything under the sun. I had had a similar experience with Sarah and her sister, my cousin Christine, back in January, when I met them for lunch downtown Houston. It had been the first time in many years, and yet it was almost like no time had passed by the way we talked. Here it was again, that "so much time has gone by yet time is standing still" sensation, tied once again to being a part of each other, family. It was hard to leave them, knowing that the fast-forward button would inevitably be clicked once again before I would see them next, but being with them, and having Amy and the kids be able to enjoy that as well, was like a gentle, soaking rain after a dry spell. As before, gratitude was the primary and outstanding emotion and response of my heart.
Of course there are countless other experiences that I've had over the past year, people with whom I have spent time, and blessings which I have received. But I hope that recounting these things gives you just a little peek into where I am at in my journey at this moment in time, Christmas 2011. More than ever, even in the middle of frustrations and aggravations, I feel a solid foundation of peace on which I can stand, and an increasing desire to grow closer to the God who has given me so, so much. Who knows what tomorrow will be like, or what place I will be in even tomorrow. But for now, for today, I am grateful. I pray for you that God will give you the true desires of your heart, a peace that passes understanding, and rest for your soul as you begin your journey into 2012.
Have a wonderful Christmas and an amazing New Year!
Michael
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